the one where i break everything

It is 12:22 am and I should be sawing logs... Or well on my way.

Especially since I have to be at work early tomorrow for a meeting.

But it is hot in my room tonight and I am still geared up from the last few days I have had.

It all started on Friday when I discovered that the "click" function on my new MacBook's trackpad (because, to me, 14 months old is still a baby) was no longer functioning properly. So I took it in to the Apple store on Sunday. Turns out it couldn't be fixed and since it was no longer under warranty, I paid to have it replaced.

Luckily, they had an appointment open so I had it done the day of and resolved to just forget it ever happened. I tend to think that that is the best way to deal with expensive surprises. That way I don't hyperventilate.

Then today I decided to actually go somewhere on my lunch hour and head to DSW to try to find shoes for a wedding I have this weekend. The line was long so it took a lot longer than expected and I was rushing back to the office. Long story short, I dropped my smartphone on the sidewalk and completely shattered the screen. As in giant spiderwebs of expensiveness and heartache. I was devastated. This thing isn't even a year old.

I'm still so worked up about this stupid thing that I am not remotely tired. I spent the afternoon weighing options, considering pleading with Verizon to sell me a new one at the upgrade price, Googled and read subsequent discussion forums where people told their similar tales of woe and others scolded them for purchasing a $500 phone and not getting insurance (Nope! I didn't get insurance either! Smart me!) I consulted Motorola about how much it would cost to fix the screen, looked on eBay a bit for used ones, felt sorry for myself.

In the end I will pay the price to have it fixed or replaced with a used one (because God forbid I actually give up this phone and go back to a flip phone!), charge the card, and resolve to forget about it. Just like the time I lost my entire DVD collection on a plane or the other time I left my iPod on a plane. Lost that too. We don't speak of these things. I have since learned my lesson about planes.

Perhaps I need to learn my lesson about extended warranties and insurance too.

getting goofy over summer

Happy Father's Day to everyone. It was a beautiful day in NYC today. And I had a lovely chat with my dad on the phone tonight where I heard the story of how my brother and I got him the same thing for Father's Day! Too funny!

This weekend I explored two new parts of the city! Yesterday I spent some time in Battery Park City, hanging out with a fun five-year-old at splash parks (a concept entirely lost on this beach-going girl before she moved to the concrete jungle). Today I walked home from the Upper East Side and the route took me through newer parts of Central Park: The Conservatory Garden, Harlem Meer and North Meadow.

Love. The. Park. Makes me wonder why I don't spend every single weekend there.

Where did this weekend go?? I'm in the mood for picnics, cool drinks, bbqs, laughs and lots of friends. I'm going into this summer with the highest of hopes. Yep, it is going to be sunny.

What are you all looking forward to this summer?

"In summer, the song sings itself."

William Carlos Williams

my weekend was: more prose than poetry

Happy Hump Day!

I had a crazy busy weekend last weekend and have had a busy week this week so I am just now getting to writing about it.

On Friday I got off work early (God bless the publishing industry for having "Summer Fridays!") and was super productive for the rest of my day. I went to the gym, did laundry, made dinner, and FINALLY put away all my winter sweaters and clothes and got out the rest of my summer stuff from which I've been pilfering for several weeks.

Saturday morning I got up pretty early for a Home Goods shopping event. My bud Summer invited me to it and I was thrilled to be included! We all arrived at the beautiful new Upper West Side HG store at 8 am, chatted for a bit, met our hosts and hostesses, and enjoyed refreshments. We then were turned loose in the store with a $50 gift card for an hour and a half. I must say, I wandered around for a good hour feeling completely overwhelmed. I tried to think of things I really needed for my apartment. Since I live with roommates, we all contribute to common areas and therefore have a lot of stuff. For my bedroom, I do need a couple of things but wasn't able to find things that suited me.

In the 11th hour I ended up grabbing a dutch oven, which will be given to a friend as a wedding gift, and a couple of new pillows for myself. Practical to the very end. Yep, that's me.

Thanks to Summer, Home Goods and Blog Her for a lovely event! I had a wonderful time and very much appreciate the opportunity!

After my morning shopping spree, I went home, changed, and went to the gym. I was exhausted after this so I chilled for a while before heading out to a friend's BBQ in Brooklyn. I never made it there. I tried. Really I did. But the weather was bad, I'm not familiar with Prospect Park and by the time I would have gotten there I would have had to turn around. I don't do well in Brooklyn (direction wise). This is very embarassing. I need to work on this.

I came home, relaxed some more, and headed out at 8 for dinner and dancing as part of my good friend's bachelorette party. Fun was had. I had Jamie Foxx's "Blame It" in my head for the rest of the weekend.

Sunday I did nothing for most of the day, headed to the gym around 6 and ended up watching about 5 hours total of the Real Housewives franchise. Yeah, I did...

Since it is Wednesday, I am now looking forward to this weekend, which is shaping up to be busy as well... As we all know, I like busy. Busy is good.

Have a good week everyone!

the perfect storm

You know...

I really hate using this word here. I try not to. But today I just feel like it. I'm talking about the F word. And I just want to scream it to the world.

I am FRUSTRATED.

I had such a bad day today. I can think of a billion ways in which it could have been worse and I know many, many people who have it worse off in life than I do. I'm fortunate and blessed--was given a good life and have made a good one for myself with what I was given. But you know those days when a case of the Mondays, Murphy's Law, and a short, short fuse collide?

That was today.

I woke up in a bummer mood. I had a date yesterday that was seemingly great on the outside but about 2/3 through I knew I didn't like him. This might not seem like a big deal to some but when it feels like it happens all the time things get magnified. The thing is that I totally expected to like him. Damn...

So I was in a pity party mood this morning and still am. I'll get over it. I'm SUPER stressed at work because it is like everything collided at once. I have had two events that I've been working on and we had to postpone one for various reasons so I'm dealing with all of that. I'm behind schedule on several things and then, of course, other things don't stop coming. I like my job and can handle the more stressful days but it just seemed like a lot today...

Money is tight. I always worry about money but never have I been so excited for a paycheck. Only a few more days until I get my next one. My goal is not to have to dip into my savings and I find myself doing that more and more lately. The tide will turn, I'll work more and spend less and it will be fine but it is stressful to constantly worry about it in this expensive city.

It is like a perfect storm. I went to the gym tonight to try to work some of it off but I must be dehydrated because I didn't get very far. Plus it was crowded and I didn't feel like waiting for a different machine so I just left, came home, and ate.

I don't like to wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm a pretty private person so the fact that I have a blog on which I can complain (no matter how anonymous) is something. And ever since I found out that I'd been found I often get paranoid that people I "know" are reading and judging my every complaint, every comma.

Today was just one of those days. So now I'm going to go get some chocolate, get in bed with a movie, and hopefully go to sleep early...

So I can start tomorrow fresh--with a workout in the morning.

the melody of eharmony: this girl's case study (part one)

You know the saying. . . Opposites attract.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I'm attracted to in a guy and what kind of guy I think I'll eventually end up with. In my mind's eye he's friendly and personable but fairly private. He's a guy's guy with a softer side that comes out every once in a while. He's intelligent and well spoken. I could go on and on.

I tend to think since I'm on the quiet side I will end up with someone who is more outgoing and brings that out in me. I tend to be Type-A about stuff and I think my guy might loosen me up a bit... I joke and say that I'd better end up with someone who is good at math... otherwise my kids are screwed.

So when I decided to try eHarmony it was in large part due to the fact that it appears to be a rather large sociological experiment. And I'm curious. And I'm single and seeing more and more wedding photos and baby pics on Facebook. You get the idea. I'd avoided the site for a while for personal political reasons, however, I decided to give it a go two months ago.

For those of you who don't know, eHarmony's thing is that they match you based on what they call "29 dimensions of compatibility" rather than letting you have-at-it with a giant database of dudes. Before I signed up for a paid subscription, I filled out a personality profile and answered questions about the ways I communicate, my values and habits, etc. Then I had the chance to review my matches, delivered right to my inbox. I'd learn a guy's first name, age, and location as well as his answers to various questions like what he can't live without, the first thing someone notices about him, etc. I also answered the same types of questions for my profile.

I took the plunge and signed up after finding a discount coupon online. The site ain't cheap. They advise giving the site at least 3+ months. I signed up for a one-month-at-a-time subscription and ended up giving it two months before I cancelled it last week.

eHarms has 3 steps of communication. If someone strikes your fancy you can send them three multiple choice questions to answer (that you choose from a list of questions). He answers them and then sends you his three questions and you answer back. After that you swap your list of 8 Must-Haves and Can't-Stands. Then come the "open ended questions." You can select from a list or write your own and then he fills in the answer in a little box. I alternated between the pre-selected questions and writing my own. Then after that they think you're trustworthy enough to let you email one another.

I must say this guided and slow way of communicating with someone only appealed to me only on the basis of curiosity. Otherwise, it seemed to prolong things. I was interested in how the site chose guys for me. A guy's answer to a question along with the questions he asked me were telling. Generally speaking, we toed gender lines. I was interested in knowing how driven he was and good communication was on my must-have list. The guys tended to ask me how often I laugh (Read: "Are you a stick in the mud?") and physical chemistry was a must-have. (Naturally.)

Overall, I gave it two months and I think that's enough. I'm not sure I'd try it again but I have learned never to rule anything out when it comes to finding the right person for me. Once upon a time I decided that was going to include this type of thing. I still fight with myself over whether it is something I want to be doing. A lot. Bottom line: I don't think it's for me and would reconsider giving it another shot... This is getting to be a long post so tomorrow I will tell you why...