a study in single behavior

Those of you who are Sex and the City fans. . . remember the one where the girls sit around and talk about their "single person" behavior? Miranda liked to watch infomercials and lotion her hands or something, Charlotte liked to stare at her pores, Carrie ate saltines with jelly on them in the kitchen while reading a magazine.

I can't decide if it is sad that I remember this or impressive.

Anyway. . .

Today I was thinking about my "single person" behaviors. For a while I didn't really think I had any. I've always lived with someone. These days it happens to be three other girls. Our lives move around and sometimes intersect but for the most part we live very singly. Which is why Ido have single person behavior. Plus I have never shared my time and space with a guy so my habits are well worn in. Here are some:

1. I eat cereal for dinner about twice a week. Or I eat it for dessert. I always eat it out of a mug. My old roommate thought this was weird.

2. The other 5 nights I eat a variation of pasta with something, turkey meatballs, veggies, fruit and yogurt. I get most of my protein and such from eating out. Which I also do once or twice a week.

3. I watch the Today Show while I get dressed in the morning. If I hit "Uncle Willie" I'm runningvery late.

4. I have a pillow top mattress (a side effect from sleeping on a Coleman air mattress for my first month in NY -- I bought the softest, most fluffy bed I could find.) Something I kind of regret. You can tell exactly where I sleep. Every night I try to "wear in" a new part of the bed but gravity always finds me in the same place. Plus, unless I'm really tired, the difference in the mattress bugs me.

5. I watch Teen Mom 2, some of the Real Housewives, and other crappy reality TV shows constantly. By watch I mean I usually have them in the background. My new thing, if I'm home, is to sit on the couch, surf the net, and "watch" Beverly Hills 90210 and Gilmore Girls on SOAP network on Saturdays/Sundays.

6. I sleep with everything but the kitchen sink on my bed. My room is small and my bed takes up a large part of it. I've gotten better about this but I go to sleep with my keys, my mail, my laptop, the remote, books, kleenex boxes, etc. on my bed. Not all at once, of course, but usually if I can't find my keys in the morning it is because they are underneath the extra blanket at the foot of the bed.

7. I sleep with one pillow (sometimes two) under my head and then one on each side of me.

8. OK, this isn't necessarily "single person behavior" but I was thinking about it today. I always give a dollar or some coins to buskers on the subway who make me smile. Especially if I've had a hard day. I dunno, I guess I kind of believe in karma.

9. I stop to pet dogs and smile at babies. I tone it down a lot when I'm with other people, especially guys because I don't want to send them running for hills just because they interpret that as MUST HAVE BABY NOW. MUST BUILD NEST NOW. As I always say, for the right guy and at the right time, I'll let the crazy out a bit more.

10. I take Sunday afternoon naps, go for random walks with Pandora playing in my ears, book solo trips to foreign countries, and have gone on dates with a cowboy, a gin maker, and a total heartbreaker. A couple in fact.

Someday I will find someone completely content with eating cereal out of a mug for dinner right along with me. Until then. . .

shake it out

This song is almost spiritual for me.

I can't stop listening to it.

stream of consciousness

More details...

The MRI came back for my knee and I do NOT have a torn meniscus which is good. I was having horrible thoughts of navigating NYC on crutches in the snow. (OK, my NYCers are now asking themselves "What snow?" but you get the gist of it.) I have tendonitis/something else syndrome so I start physical therapy on Wednesday. I'm hoping that I'll get back in tip top shape and get back to the gym soon.

Work has calmed down some. Some of the winds have shifted and I am calmer at the end of the day so I am happy about that and just trying to focus on being the best I can at my job.

I might have a date. We haven't scheduled anything yet and I really, honestly, expect nothing but it is good for me to feel like I am moving on and getting over the horrible feelings I've had since last Fall. It is still hard for me because I really thought this guy and I were so right together but I have no control over anyone else's feelings or actions but my own and I'm just trying to focus on positivity, being openminded, and enjoying life in the moment (which I struggle with, interestingly enough.)

I read this amazing book last week called Q.U.I.E.T by Sus.an C.ai.n. Sorry for the periods. I just don't really want my silly blog to pop up on any more author radars right now. The book takes a look at what it is to be an introvert in a "world that can't stop talking" and it is really, really interesting. I am a classic introvert (have been since I was very small) so to have my thoughts and feelings laid out in front of me with a focus on the positive was so empowering. I highly recommend this book (regardless of whether you consider yourself an introvert but especially if you do). It will change the way you see yourself.

Other than that I've been busy working and babysitting to earn money for my big solo trip this Spring. My little point-and-shoot camera has also finally gone kaput on me so I'm in the process of pricing out a new one. I have to get one before the trip (imagine going on the trip of a lifetime with no camera! Never! For this girl anyway...) and I'm trying to decide how "all out" I want to go. I really want a DSLR but they are very expensive and since I'm already putting down a good chunk on the trip itself, I am very hesitant to make another large purchase. That said, I've found one that isn't too bad, price wise, has good reviews online and would allow me to really start getting more into photography. If I decide to buy another point-and-shoot I'm going to go for the brand I already have (it lasted me a while) and it won't be too expensive. It just seems a shame not to get the better option and have better quality photos of my travels, if I can swing it.... First world problems, right?

I've had Adele in my head ever since the Grammy's last night. Love her to pieces. She seems like someone I could really hang out with and 21 basically got me through the last year (and this year so far) with "Someone Like You" and "Rolling in the Deep" and "Set Fire to the Rain"I love how we all become so attached to music and lyrics, as if they are written about us and our lives. I know that's why some people get really attached to the artists too. Case and point, Whitney Houston. I'm shocked I don't have her songs in my head today (though I did watch the video for "I Will Always Love You" online last night for the heck of it.)

School is progressing. I'm in the process of applying to a couple and I will be glad when that part is over and the waiting can begin. Valentine's Day is tomorrow (as if you didn't already know!) and while I think the day is pretty universally hard for every single girl (no matter what she says) it is what it is and I will be giving a lovely couple a chance to have dinner together while their child sleeps and I work on their couch. Karma. Maybe she'll smile on me this year.

Have a great week everyone.