Today a friend who is reading Freakanomics informed me that according to the book's author only 20-something percent of men and 50-something percent of women are contacted via their online dating profiles. (Sorry, the actual percentages she told me now escape me.) Based on these stats, it is pretty incredible that I have even had a handful of not-so-great dates and even more incredible that I actually liked one guy I met online recently.
I'm sure there have been studies out there about what influences men to contact women and vice versa and that these studies aren't so different from what attracts the two different sexes offline. This brings me to another phenomenon. The wink-and-ditch. Last week a guy winked at me who seemed nice enough so I e-mailed him. I haven't heard anything. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he got busy with work and forgot about me. Like an project, that entertainment center he started building, I've been forgotten. Before you get out your violins, I'm not complaining. I get this. I have been guilty of it myself. Just as it is easier not to return the calls of the guy you gave your number to the night before when you have changed your mind about him, it is easier just to wink-and-ditch someone with whom maybe at first you thought you'd hit it off but now you're going back to work, don't have as much down time, and it was all superficial anyway. Or maybe he met another Match girl who shares his love for bowling and World of Warcraft. Makes sense.
But what about the one you like? The one you winked at and he responded, seemed interesting, normal and interested. And you think he's kinda cute too. Score! But after a couple of e-mails it seems he's gone off into the ether of cyber space and you start to wonder if he and another MDC girl are exchanging pleasantries instead of the two of you. If the website is taken to be what it is, a community of people all looking for the same thing - a virtual bar stripped of the ambiguity, questions of "Is he single?" and "Does he look like a nice guy?" and all those other things that get in the way (well, for the most part) - shouldn't it be true that Mr. Match will wink tomorrow? If that's the case then what are those 20 and 50 percentages all about? It is all just a giant pool and I am but one fish.
Still, as my friend MCW says (or to paraphrase her, rather) each one brings me closer... And right now that's a comforting thought.
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5 comments:
I know how you feel, I was on match for a while and still looing...
But don't forget that they can wink for free, but e-mailing they have to pay for. So it might not be that he isn't interested. it may just be that he isn't a paying member.
aw, that's a sweet thought that you echoed. i like that! you'll find the right guy somehow, and i'm sure it will be the perfect time!
It's so very frustrating when you are really excited about a potential match, and then he goes AWOL. BUT...I completely agree...every up/down, etc. takes you one step closer to Mr. Right.
It may sound silly, but I 100% believe it. Don't turn people away for silly reasons either!!! Anything CAN work. Seriously. If I had done that I wouldn't be dating TEN :-o
I didn't know those were the percentages! Makes me feel better!
It's all about the "funnel" hehe and that pic reminds me of a funnel, so maybe you were thinking the same thing!
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