say hello to your friends...

This is what I watched last night.

That is after I watched Three Men and a Baby and the Babysitter's Club movie.

I always liked Stacey the best but I was most like Mary Anne, I think. That isn't to say I didn't like her. I could definitely relate with the exception of the whole boyfriend thing.

perfect match series: still waiting (and worrying)

For some reason I like to think about heavy, important things as I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep. This has resulted in my not hitting the REM cycle before 1 am for the last three nights. I'm a girl who likes her sleep. I'm sure you can imagine the reprocussions. Hint: they involve me practically sprinting down the street in Midtown trying to make it to work ontime. But I digress...

Last night I decided to think about my potential bone marrow donation. Let's rewind a bit. When I got back from California, waiting for me in my stack of mail - amongst the credit card applications and political flyers from various local candidates - was a holiday card from DKMS. Folded inside was a piece of paper that said something along the lines of "Please continue to be on board with this decision. We are still waiting to hear from the patient's doctor. In the meantime here is the information on what is required of you - again." Brownie points to them for being thorough. I had been waiting to hear about the results of my blood test (for typing match) and though I was told it could take up to a few months before I'd know if I'd actually be donating, I was a bit confused by their letter. I wasn't sure if they were saying that yes, I am a good match and we are just waiting to see if the patient is healthy enough to receive the donation or hang tight, we still don't know if the doc thinks my cells are a fit.

Regardless, last night it occurred to me that it has been over a month since I received the "YOU'RE A MATCH!" e-mail and the worrywort in me took over. I guess I just assumed that this process would be taking place very quickly as we all know that potentially saving someone's life is something you don't put off. But I do understand that procedures need to be done, they need to make sure I'm good for this person and that this person is well enough to benefit from my donation. Which leads me to the worrywort part - I hope he or she is OK. I can't imagine going through something like leukemia or having a loved one who has the illness. I picture my match in many different ways, very frequently, and hope that he or she is on the healthier side of the spectrum.

A few weeks ago my new roommate told me about when she had her bone marrow drawn for testing and said these exact works: "I felt like my bones were on fire." Now, I'll be honest - that freaked me out a bit. Still the desire to know that this stranger is now doing well ranks higher on my list. I am committed as ever to helping. I just hope I get to do so soon.

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Read the entire perfect match series.

my weekend was... wonderful

What is in a wonderful weekend?

And how do you replicate it?

It is only Monday but I am already looking longingly at Friday and next weekend as I want to repeat the simple yet wonderful vibe that was this past weekend:

A Friday night spent out with one of my best friends.

Giggling and dancing at a bar when it suddenly became so crowded that we were lost in the back and no one was paying attention to us anyway.

Knowing that she is such a good friend she has adopted the role of my "wing woman" even though she is recently (and happily, aww!) coupled.

Ditching the meat market to go dancing at a bar and not caring about the Jersey Shore crowd around us.

A Denver omlette, hashbrowns and toast followed by a walk in Central Park on a crisply beautiful Saturday morning.

A bonus at my second job, just because. (I'm tellin' ya, I might be babysitting until I'm 40 at this rate.)

Meeting up with another wonderful friend for Sunday afternoon dessert and a long chat. Leaving overpriced dessert place for an after party of Earl Grey at Starbucks because there was still so much left to say.

A weekend concluded feeling very blessed and content.

Honestly, if I could figure out how to bottle that, I'd be rich.

the Jersey Shore filter: checking in on my Match experience

Number of days on Match: 22
Number of days in Match subscription: 31
Number of e-mails exchanged: 4?
Number of dates: 0

Yeah, those aren't good stats but I'm not trying the way I have before. I've become quite disgruntled with the site and have been more picky and have not been putting in as much effort these days. I just winked at a couple of people and have sent a couple of introductory e-mails today but other than that thems slim pickins. I'm just more choosy these days and I love the filter option. I won't lie, I do filter - not just by location and by height but also by occupation. If I want to I can also filter by religion, political views, body type and whether they want kids. But I generally don't do blanket filter for those things and consider the entire profile before making those calls. But some things you just can't get over... Here are some filters I wish Match had:

the Jersey Shore filter: I really wish there was a filter for all the spray tanned, tight shirt, and even shirtless guys. They sometimes take you by surprise. Sometimes everything looks kosher until you see the greasy hair, the abs, the slimy looking photos. NO thanks.

the slim & toned/slender filter: I wish Match let you filter based on your potential Match's date wish list. I've ranted about this before. So at the risk of looking like a bitter man hater, I'll refrain and just link you all to that post.

the girls in the photo filter: I would hate to be the girl who discovers some guy is posting pictures of me with him on an online dating site. Sometimes these girls appear to be sisters. In fact one guy even said the girl in the photo was his sister. But how hard is it to cut a photo? And how hard is it to select a photo that does not show you cut out a girl hanging all over you while you pose with a beer in hand? I once went on a date with a guy who had included a photo with a girl. I didn't see this until after I agreed to the date and didn't have a good feeling about it but went anyway. I asked him about it and he said it was his ex-girlfriend. Check please!

the catch-phrase filter: If you've ever tried online dating you know the standards. Everyone says they love to travel. Everyone says they're looking for a girl who loves to go out but is equally as comfortable cuddling up on the couch with a movie. Everyone says they're looking for an outgoing girl who likes to have fun. Sure some of these things are preference driven but I see a request for someone who isn't too serious and likes to have fun and see myself being ditched after date three because I won't put out. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Some guys are subtly honest though. My favorite was a guy who said he would love to have a dog but is too immature for one. Good for him for being honest. He'll find someone equally as immature and they can stare at puppies through pet store windows.

I know all my posts portray me as a negative Nancy. I jest a lot because it is fun and funny but in reality I obviously wouldn't be doing this if I didn't believe in the smallest chance that it will work for me. A good friend of mine is happily dating a guy she met online. One of my co-workers met her wonderful husband online. It does happen. I just have to filter through until I find the right one or until he walks by me on the street causing me to forget this whole online dating thing ever happened.

For those of you who have tried online dating any filters you'd like to add?

If you've missed it check out my other posts about my recent Match.com experience.

Shop Talk: Faves of 2009 - Anne Frank and the West Village

10. Anne Frank: The Book, The Life, The Afterlife by Francine Prose
read in August 2009
The sole non-fiction book in this year's bunch (I've mentioned I'm more of a fiction reader and it shows...) this book takes a new, thorough and fascinating look at Anne Frank. Many of us read her diary. If you were like me you were fascinated by this eloquent and smart girl and all she went through. In this new literary criticism, Francine Prose makes the case for Anne as a writer and her diary as a work of fiction. According to Prose she is more than a moody teen her diary is more than a wartime relic and Holocaust account. She also looks at the life of the diary, how it came to be published, and how it has lived on in classrooms, hearts and minds alike in many countries since its publication. The English major in me loved the painstaking analysis of what came to be three versions of Anne's diary all mashed into one. The publishing professional loved the tidbits about American publication and all in all I was fascinated by this new take. Perhaps you will be too.

9. The Ballad of West Tenth Street by Marjorie Kernan
read in February 2009

A good friend thrust this book in my hands almost a year ago and I can still remember reading it while riding the Subway and walking along the freezing New York streets imagining the book's characters in residence in the West Village area. This is where rock 'n' roll widow, her precotious kids, an elderly man and his waitstaff, an eccentric music teacher and his naive wife and a homeless man who broke my heart on every page live. Their stories are woven together and true to the title, Kernan crafts a ballad of NYC proportions. This book made me love this city even more. Full of eclectic characters as well as simple yet endearing and heartbreaking moments, this book was a wonderful surprise and a great portrait of New York.

there comes a time for even the most seasoned of travelers...

I have been in California since the 23rd of December. Up until recently I was visiting my family but duty calls and I made the transition to a lovely hotel for a work conference that was conveniently located here... Nice, right?

Well, after a couple of weeks I can say I want to go home.

Back to New York that is.

Now before all of you freezing in arctic temperatures chew me out, I fully appreciate that 69 degree weather in January is an anomoly and therefore I should keep my mouth shut. But I'm tired of living like a nomad, want to get back to my bed and my life and there is a particularly loud tantrum-throwing child that seems to have taken up residence in the hotel room next to mine (I dare say there might be two! Help me. I'm going to lose it.) and I can hear him or her perfectly clearly.

Time to pack it in, say goodbye to the place no one understands why I left, and get my butt back into the 22 degrees.

It's gonna be cold but it's gonna be NICE.

wink-and-ditch: pondering the success of Match and other online dating sites

So continues my Match.com series...

Today a friend who is reading Freakanomics informed me that according to the book's author only 20-something percent of men and 50-something percent of women are contacted via their online dating profiles. (Sorry, the actual percentages she told me now escape me.) Based on these stats, it is pretty incredible that I have even had a handful of not-so-great dates and even more incredible that I actually liked one guy I met online recently.

I'm sure there have been studies out there about what influences men to contact women and vice versa and that these studies aren't so different from what attracts the two different sexes offline. This brings me to another phenomenon. The wink-and-ditch. Last week a guy winked at me who seemed nice enough so I e-mailed him. I haven't heard anything. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he got busy with work and forgot about me. Like an project, that entertainment center he started building, I've been forgotten. Before you get out your violins, I'm not complaining. I get this. I have been guilty of it myself. Just as it is easier not to return the calls of the guy you gave your number to the night before when you have changed your mind about him, it is easier just to wink-and-ditch someone with whom maybe at first you thought you'd hit it off but now you're going back to work, don't have as much down time, and it was all superficial anyway. Or maybe he met another Match girl who shares his love for bowling and World of Warcraft. Makes sense.

But what about the one you like? The one you winked at and he responded, seemed interesting, normal and interested. And you think he's kinda cute too. Score! But after a couple of e-mails it seems he's gone off into the ether of cyber space and you start to wonder if he and another MDC girl are exchanging pleasantries instead of the two of you. If the website is taken to be what it is, a community of people all looking for the same thing - a virtual bar stripped of the ambiguity, questions of "Is he single?" and "Does he look like a nice guy?" and all those other things that get in the way (well, for the most part) - shouldn't it be true that Mr. Match will wink tomorrow? If that's the case then what are those 20 and 50 percentages all about? It is all just a giant pool and I am but one fish.
Still, as my friend MCW says (or to paraphrase her, rather) each one brings me closer... And right now that's a comforting thought.

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