I really hate using this word here. I try not to. But today I just feel like it. I'm talking about the F word. And I just want to scream it to the world.
I am FRUSTRATED.
I had such a bad day today. I can think of a billion ways in which it could have been worse and I know many, many people who have it worse off in life than I do. I'm fortunate and blessed--was given a good life and have made a good one for myself with what I was given. But you know those days when a case of the Mondays, Murphy's Law, and a short, short fuse collide?
That was today.
I woke up in a bummer mood. I had a date yesterday that was seemingly great on the outside but about 2/3 through I knew I didn't like him. This might not seem like a big deal to some but when it feels like it happens all the time things get magnified. The thing is that I totally expected to like him. Damn...
So I was in a pity party mood this morning and still am. I'll get over it. I'm SUPER stressed at work because it is like everything collided at once. I have had two events that I've been working on and we had to postpone one for various reasons so I'm dealing with all of that. I'm behind schedule on several things and then, of course, other things don't stop coming. I like my job and can handle the more stressful days but it just seemed like a lot today...
Money is tight. I always worry about money but never have I been so excited for a paycheck. Only a few more days until I get my next one. My goal is not to have to dip into my savings and I find myself doing that more and more lately. The tide will turn, I'll work more and spend less and it will be fine but it is stressful to constantly worry about it in this expensive city.
It is like a perfect storm. I went to the gym tonight to try to work some of it off but I must be dehydrated because I didn't get very far. Plus it was crowded and I didn't feel like waiting for a different machine so I just left, came home, and ate.
I don't like to wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm a pretty private person so the fact that I have a blog on which I can complain (no matter how anonymous) is something. And ever since I found out that I'd been found I often get paranoid that people I "know" are reading and judging my every complaint, every comma.
Today was just one of those days. So now I'm going to go get some chocolate, get in bed with a movie, and hopefully go to sleep early...
So I can start tomorrow fresh--with a workout in the morning.