Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Something exciting, happy, and hopeful ended abruptly and I've been feeling cheated and miserable and feeling very sorry for myself--a lesson that nothing is certain in life and life moves on.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I miss my family. I wish I were home with them, making food with my mom, listening to my crazy dog bark and whine to come in the house, watching documentaries with my dad, going to the movies with my bro, and enjoying my loved ones. I will be here in New York instead, headed to the home of a lovely friend who is gracious enough to take me in on the day of thanks.
And today I am thinking about what it means to be thankful and give thanks, even when we are angry, searching, feeling alone.
I am so very greatful for the things I have--the spirit to want more and the drive to seek it out. The feeling of discontent because I know that life is rich and powerful, that perspective is essential, and that happiness is earned not handed out.
Tomorrow will likely be a more difficult holiday for me. I recognize this and accept it but I refuse to stick in it. I will gather my feelings and mine them for what they can produce--thoughtfulness, introspection, and ultimately humility.
I am well. I am fed. I am loved. I am able to do so much.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Over the past couple of years I've wondered if I have my own sort of autumnal issue. An Autumn Curse, if you will. I think I even blogged about this last year. Let me preface what I'm about to say with a disclaimer that I love the fall season. Like, love the pants off of it. I am totally an "autumn" color wise. My favorite color is brown. I'm a Virgo. Earth signs and all that rot. So fall = fave in my book.
But damnnit if I don't hate fall for what I seriously am starting to consider this stupid curse.
It all goes back 3 years. My first real fall season here in NYC as a dating person. Guy #1 and I met in October, dated. I swooned. A lot. He was great. He was a Left Coaster like me. I read into things. Saw things that weren't there. I was sporting some pretty spiffy rose colored glasses. He was great but he wasn't as into me as I was into him. He ended it a couple of days before Christmas. 2 mos into whatever it was. I was shocked. I cried and cursed him and threw myself into trying to find someone to replace him.
The next Fall I met Guy #2. I think it was November. He was friendly from the start, interesting and funny. We went out a few times. He was in the process of starting a new job. Red flag I didn't see. After a few dates he started blowing me off. Then he disappeared and things fizzled. I certainly contributed. Lessons learned. But I was still very surprised as I thought we had good chemistry.
Fast forward to September of last year. Guy #3. He was interesting. A former teacher. We had two good dates and a really awkward 3rd but I kept hope alive because I liked him. In hindsight, not as much as the others, but I was willing to give it time. He was definitely one of the better ones. The awkward goodbye after date 3 sealed it. He blew me off a bit and disappeared. Another one bites the dust.
That brings us to Guy #4. Freshly added to the "roster" last night. Things were going so, so very well. At least I thought they were. I was getting green lights all over the place. This was the best thing I'd experienced in a long time. I thought him a potential keeper. We were certainly headed in that direction. Until last night. It's not me. It's him. I won't say anything disparaging about him because the reason I am so crushed is because he is a wonderful guy. Really. One of the best I've ever met. We had sparks. I thought we were perfect for each other. It is him. I believe it and he took responsibility but it is a bit me too, isn't it? Because when it is the right person it just works out. It isn't so hard.
So I am 4/4. I won't give up on my beloved season yet though. I just know that September-December I'll be a little more wary.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I've been so bad at the blog thing lately. Sometimes I wonder if I should just stop altogether....
Here are my updates:
- Work is still very, very busy. I have a few trips coming up and am taking on more, which is good, but I've been so exhausted when I get home at night that all I can usually manage is to stuff my face in front of whatever episode of The Real Housewives is currently on. Yes, that is true.
- Thus I have not been going to the gym very often. Shame on me. My credit card is pissed. It still gets charged for that membership.
- I wish I could motivate myself to wake up in the morning and workout before work. I was really good at this during the Spring months (and by really good I mean I managed to do it about twice a week) but now I hit snooze 5,000 times before turning it off, falling back asleep and waking up late. Ha!
- I'm in a voracious mood when it comes to reading. I think it is because it is relaxing. I just want to read all day and end up very sad when I get in bed at night, pick up my book, and find I can only make it two pages before my eyes are so heavy that I have to turn out the light.
- I'm in the mood for historical fiction. First up, Egypt! I'm finally getting around to Mich.elle Mor.an's The Her.etic Qu.een. Last year I blogged about how awesome Mich.elle is and she found my little blog post (via the powers that be at Google alert, I can only assume). It was so exciting. I've previously read Nefer.titi and she has one more Egyptian book, Cleo.pat.ra's Daugh.ter. Then there's Mad.ame Tuss.aud which is amazing! Love all of them!
- Russia is up next! If anyone has any other recommendations I'd love to hear them!
- I'm still seeing the guy I was seeing the last time I blogged. Well "seeing" is not an operative word here, really. We're dating but our schedules are so crazy this month that we haven't been able to get together lately. This is very disappointing but I'm trying to be patient and am hoping things will continue to go well regardless.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Work has been INSANE. I'm so busy because (I guess) Fall is a very hectic time of year for me. I wouldn't know. This is my first Fall in this particular position. That coupled with missing two days and events that I'm responsible for that fall one right after the other. . . I've been very, very swamped.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Day 7 is food. I love food. I'm the girl who eats a brownie instead of downing a drink when I've had a bad day. When the food comes I ignore my cocktail or beer. I have a major major sweet tooth. It is a huge problem (so much so that I can't keep cake or cookies or ice cream in the house... I will gobble them up in no time!)
So I'm listing my favorite foods that I would eat every single freakin' day if it didn't mean I'd be 500 lbs, a couple of things I eat regularly, and what I would choose for my last meal. You'll notice some of these categories overlap.
5. cake - Love the stuff. I wish every day was my birthday so I could eat it. Birthday cake is awesome. As is german chocolate, red velvet, and this kind my mom makes called earthquake cake (it is like german chocolate cake but it also has cream cheese. OMG.) I'm salivating now.
4. apples and yogurt - I've been eating this since I was young. My mom used to cut up apples and put vanilla yogurt on top. I still eat this a lot. I realize that an apple is not the first fruit one thinks to pair with vanilla yogurt. I'll also add that I love blueberries and strawberries (any kind of berry really) with yogurt.
3. green beans and edamame - These are my go-to veggies. I could eat them by the truckful
2. a bean, cheese, and rice burrito from my local hole-in-the-wall taco shop at home - I want one now. I've been going there since high school. In fact, it still is a high school hang out... which makes me chuckle when I go there now. I make at least one trip every time I go back "home." They know me there and they know what I like. It is kind of embarassing because I rarely get anything else there. I once sent a burrito to my BFF for her birthday. It sounds gross but I overnighted it frozen and it made it (full disclosure: if it had had meat in it, I wouldn't have done it!). Best birthday gift idea I've ever had!
1. taco and enchilada plate from my favorite sit-down, family-owned Mexican restaurant at "home" - Last meal. I'd have 5. SO good. Then I'd have cake.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
I'm a day behind but who cares?
Sometimes what I want feels like it changes by the minute. Some are big and some are small. And I am hungry right now so some are food related...
1. A turkey club sandwich with potato chips from Grey Dog Cafe (This one is seriously my #1 want right now...)
2. A burrito from my local taco shop in CA
3. A nap on the beach
4. More time in the day to get my work reading & my for-fun reading done
5. Money and time for an amazing European vacation
6. A vacation, period
7. To have my cake and eat it too...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
#10 - SECRETS
1. I really don't like avocados or sushi. I usually don't tell people this because I get teased for being from CA and not liking avocados and people here love their sushi.
2. I love when people compliment me for being brave for moving to NYC all alone without a job but at the same time it makes me a bit uncomfortable--like I'm bragging or something.
3. I was born 8 weeks premature. But was the biggest baby in the NICU. I joke and say I've been strong willed since before birth.
4. I have an almost unhealthy fear of snakes. Like it freaks me out when my brother's ball python gets even remotely close to me.
5. I have three reoccuring dreams: (1) I am in a car and I am driving really fast and either can't or won't stop (sometimes I'm being chased by the police.) (2) I am being made to return to high school to finish a class (usually PE, science or math) even though I am an adult and have graduated from college... Most of the time I haven't been doing my homework either. (3) My family has to move back in to our old house and I move with them even though I am a "grown up" now. (This one is newer.)
6. I had my appendix out when I was 16. Beyond that I have never had any major surgery or broken any bones.
7. I want to marry a British guy so I can live abroad and raise kids with little British accents.
8. I don't just babysit for the money. To quote part of a line in Juno, I like being a piece of furniture in their weird lives. I think I sometimes crave being around families because I'm here solo.
9. I really didn't like high school or college. Both of them. I know I'm supposed to think back on those days as the "best in my life" but honestly I would rather pay rent, work, etc. than do it all over again.
10. Sometimes I think about "outing" myself on this blog. Posting pics and real information about myself. Then I chicken out.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
It was only a matter of time.
I have a new roommate. Well, a temporary one anyway.
Last Monday my roommate and I were chatting in the kitchen when she screamed bloody murder. That's right. A mouse. Lucky us.
I think I previously blogged about the mouse problem I had in my old apartment several years ago. This time around we think it is just one little guy who came in through our doors when we had them open all day long during a recent shindig we had for some friends. In fact, we dare say we disturbed his lovely mouse home outside on our patio in an attempt to make it look less like a weedy jungle.
We were unsuccessful in catching him last week so we bought some traps (the kind that don't work) and called it a night. I hadn't been home for the evening in a while and no one had seen him. We were hoping he'd politely let himself out.
Last night roommate and I were watching TV when we saw him scurry into our fireplace. It was 11:30pm. We knew we had to try and trap him and get him out. So we gathered the mouse-catching essentials: a big cardboard TV box, several Tupperware containers of various sizes, a copy of US Weekly with Kim Kardashian on the cover, a CB2 catalog, gardening gloves, a flashlight, and I donned my old gross sneakers because if the little guy scurried across my foot without protection I knew I would be losing my ish completely. We sealed him in the fireplace with the TV box and just stood there like deer in headlights, afraid to make another move. Other roommate came home and she, being much braver than the two of us, got down to business, trying to coax him out. He didn't move. There was an unused pile of wood in the fireplace and we knew he was in there.
She even enlisted the help of an innocent passerby who had just come home from work. Poor guy was good sport about it and we met a neighbor. (PS - This may be why she had a boyfriend and the other two of us don't... Just sayin'.) By 1am there was still a mouse running free and I had to go to bed. I think I finally got to sleep around 2.
We didn't want to hurt you. Next time you choose to come out please be mindful of the time. 8pm is perfect. Any later and you will be calling my office and explaining why I am late the next day.
PS - So sorry about the forthcoming glue traps. Don't tell PETA.
Monday, August 1, 2011
And that's the way I like it...
Because music is to my soul what books, dance, sweat and sun are. Nourishing.
I've been listening to these three songs on repeat as I knock out this day. (Ignore the videos. YouTube is the easiest way to share!)
Lights - Ellie Goulding
She is my new musical obsession. Her cover of "Your Song" makes me cry. Makes me believe it. I always thought Elton's version was kind of cheesy but this version makes me fall in love with a yet-non-existant person every time...
But that's not the song of the day. Here's Lights:
Let Go - Frou Frou
When the movie, Garden State with Natalie Portman and Zach Braff came out, I saw it in the theater and immediately fell in love with the soundtrack. I've loved the song ever since. Every once in a while I rediscover it.
Bright Lights - Matchbox Twenty
I'd forgotten how much I loved this song when it first came out several years ago until a couple of weeks ago when it popped up on my Pandora station.
What are your three songs today?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
- downtime (and lots of it!) - due to a cough that just would not go away! (Thank you DuaneReade Doctor on Premises program. I love my antibiotics!)
- eggs and pancake time - I had no appetite all weekend until last night really when I got a hankering for eggs and pancakes. So I skipped over to the 24 hr diner and sat at the counter reading my book and eating.
- because-i-can time - TV marathons, air conditioned bedroom, naps, and reading
- money makin time - because I want to do more than just "get by."
- sunbathin' time - I spent today in Central Park with a friend by Turtle Pond soaking up the rays and sweatin' up a storm. (I don't think I will ever get used to the "sweat-behind-your-knees" type of humidity they got goin' on here.)
- Turtle Time - We spied a turtle who had come up from the pond onto the grass and proceeded to make the rounds through the park for his adoring onlookers. I really was worried about the poor little guy. He seemed lost. (Pst - If you watch The Real Housewives of NY, that last title was for you.)
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I had a crazy busy weekend last weekend and have had a busy week this week so I am just now getting to writing about it.
On Friday I got off work early (God bless the publishing industry for having "Summer Fridays!") and was super productive for the rest of my day. I went to the gym, did laundry, made dinner, and FINALLY put away all my winter sweaters and clothes and got out the rest of my summer stuff from which I've been pilfering for several weeks.
Saturday morning I got up pretty early for a Home Goods shopping event. My bud Summer invited me to it and I was thrilled to be included! We all arrived at the beautiful new Upper West Side HG store at 8 am, chatted for a bit, met our hosts and hostesses, and enjoyed refreshments. We then were turned loose in the store with a $50 gift card for an hour and a half. I must say, I wandered around for a good hour feeling completely overwhelmed. I tried to think of things I really needed for my apartment. Since I live with roommates, we all contribute to common areas and therefore have a lot of stuff. For my bedroom, I do need a couple of things but wasn't able to find things that suited me.
In the 11th hour I ended up grabbing a dutch oven, which will be given to a friend as a wedding gift, and a couple of new pillows for myself. Practical to the very end. Yep, that's me.
Thanks to Summer, Home Goods and Blog Her for a lovely event! I had a wonderful time and very much appreciate the opportunity!
After my morning shopping spree, I went home, changed, and went to the gym. I was exhausted after this so I chilled for a while before heading out to a friend's BBQ in Brooklyn. I never made it there. I tried. Really I did. But the weather was bad, I'm not familiar with Prospect Park and by the time I would have gotten there I would have had to turn around. I don't do well in Brooklyn (direction wise). This is very embarassing. I need to work on this.
I came home, relaxed some more, and headed out at 8 for dinner and dancing as part of my good friend's bachelorette party. Fun was had. I had Jamie Foxx's "Blame It" in my head for the rest of the weekend.
Sunday I did nothing for most of the day, headed to the gym around 6 and ended up watching about 5 hours total of the Real Housewives franchise. Yeah, I did...
Since it is Wednesday, I am now looking forward to this weekend, which is shaping up to be busy as well... As we all know, I like busy. Busy is good.
Have a good week everyone!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I'm a huge nerd.
I've kept a chronological list of all of the books I've read since 2004. When I joined goodreads.com in Spring 2008, that list began being housed on the internet. When my laptop crashed last year, the lists from the previous years (all in gorgeous Word/Excel docs) were lost. Tear.
Every once in a while I take a peek back at what I was reading this time last year, and the year before, and the year before and try to remember what I was doing around that time. So I thought I'd be an even bigger nerd and share:
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith (reread)
I've posted a bit about my rediscovery of this wonderful book here and I'm still plugging away at it. (I'm distracted every day by things I have to read for work.) I first read it in September 2007.
Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier (UK Edition)
I brought two books with me to London last year and by my 3rd or 4th day there, had read them both. (I have a long plane ride and a relatively lengthy train ride to Bath as well as my well-formed habit of reading on public transportation to thank for this.) I'd also known I wanted to purchase a book while I was there. Most books in the UK come out only in paperback. The cover art is often different and sometimes the title is as well. I loved browsing bookshops and noticing the differences.
So whilst in Paddington Station waiting for our train to Bath I bought the UK edition of The Girl With the Pearl Earring author Tracy Chevalier's newest novel. I believe it had yet to be published in the U.S. at this point so I was feeling pretty spiffy. I read it on the plane ride back to New York. It is the story of "two eccentric women searching for fossils on English beaches" and while it wasn't my favorite of hers (I've read all the others) I'm happy this souvenir sits on my bookshelf.
On a very unrelated note... Can I travel abroad again? Soon? Please?
Commencement by J. Courtney Sullivan
You can find my review of that one here. I remember reading this while waiting for my friend to meet me to stand in line and rush tickets for Billy Elliot on Broadway. We quickly found out that only students can rush for that show so we went to dinner instead. The two of us saw a few shows that Spring/Summer and then at the end of the Summer she moved back home to Florida. I miss her. She was one of my first friends here.
The Road of Lost Innocence: The True Story of a Cambodian Heroine by Somaly Mam
This is the story of a woman who was sold into prostitution at the age of six or so and her fight to free herself it and help other girls and young women throughout the world. A heartwrenching and at times too-tough-to-read account (I had to put the book down and walk away for a bit a couple of times), this book is so important and Ms. Mam is truly an inspiration.
I don't remember what I was doing when I read it but I do remember that when BFF came to visit me for the first time in NYC, she read it while she was here. She and I were uber tourists, going through the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Top of the Rock, Central Park, and more like madwomen. So much fun!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It went fine and I had a nice time.
I'm open to a 3rd.
But I'm feeling frustrated and burnt out. And I'm tired of feeling this way. It happens often. I go on a couple of dates, it stops being fun, I stop going on them but then start up again because well... that's what you do. It is going to happen some day and some day might as well be today, right?
And I tend to do this thing where I don't give up. I'm too stubborn to. It is both a blessing and a curse in life.
It is time to hibernate again.
'Til next time...
Monday, May 16, 2011
I had a low-key weekend. I sacrificed it to job numero dos and some extra cash in my pocket. Every once in a while I have weekends like this. I won't lie... They depress me a bit sometimes but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
I'm supposed to have a date tomorrow. Supposed to is the key phrase here. It is a 2nd date. I have leveled hopes. On our first date he called me the most normal girl he had yet to meet here in NYC. Even though he's only been here 5 months, I took that for the compliment it is.
Oh how I wish I was in bed reading right now!
Happy Monday everyone!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
1. The Royal Wedding.
OK, I admit. I'm in love with it. Mostly because of this scene.
He is adorable. And they're in love. And it makes my cynical frayed heart happy today so that's all that matters.
2. Button-down tops
I'm wearing one today and this morning I left my apartment feeling like I really do need to buy more like it. It's almost seersucker looking... grayish blue and white with tiny stripes. I think it makes me look preppy and I don't really look "preppy" that often. I'm diggin' it.
3. Fun work friends
I feel like I'm coming more into my own at work and making friends, which is nice. Two girls in my department and I have plans for a Happy Hour next week and we were chatting about the morning's events in the assistant's cubicle this morning. I also now sit by a really sweet publicity assistant who greets me with a "Good Morning, M!" each morning. :)
4. Re-reading books
I'm loving A Tree Grows in Brooklyn the second time around. I'm considering continuing with my re-reading (seems a bit easier to take on "fun" books this way since I read so much for work) with The Book Thief next. What would you re-read? I love saying re-read. It is fun.
T-G-I-F! Tomorrow if the weather is nice I will probably just take a walk or two and laze around. Maybe get in some shopping if I feel up to it.
What do you love this Friday?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
1. Yesterday a colleague told me I look like Natalie Portman. This is not the first time I've been told that but it has been a while. I admit it made me feel great since she's super pretty but I don't really see the resemblance...
2. I've had a bit of the Kool-Aid. I've been semi-paying attention to all this Royal Wedding stuff. (OK, I watched 2 TLC specials while babysitting the other night. Sips, people! Sips.) I guess the romantic mush in me just thinks they are super cute. Plus the anglophile in me loves all things British and I really, really want to go back to London these days.
3. For all the bellyaching I did this past weekend about not being busy, my phone was blowing up (I hate that expression but I just used it. Funny how that happens.) on Monday and I got two sitting jobs for this week plus a dinner/drinks invite from a friend. Life really does come in waves, even the smallest ones.
4. Have I mentioned how much I love the fact that I am a regular gym-goer (again) yet? Well I do. It is amazing for me and I have decided to treat regular exercise like taking my medicine. It is so good for my mental, emotional and physical state and I have been so out of it (regularly, that is) for so long. Mostly because I didn't think I could afford it... Oh I long for the days when my Y membership only cost me $18/month.
5. Speaking of which, I'm in need of a good pair of running shoes that won't cost me a ton o' cash. If anyone has good recommendations for brands and/or stores, please let me know!
6. I've been trying to go on a date with a guy now for a couple of weeks. Our schedules never seem to work out. Mostly his because he has a crazy busy job and we have both been traveling lately. Sigh.
7. Speaking of dating, I've had at least four people ask me if I am dating or have a boyfriend in the past week. Is there something on my forehead?
8. Today I got a huge shipment of books in and organized them for contest winners of a sweepstakes my department did. I felt a bit like Santa Claus and this made me smile.
9. I'm headed "home" again in just a couple of weeks but it is a surprise! Shh!
10. Time to go sweat out the small stuff!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
I read thisbook the summer before I moved to New York and have wanted to own it ever since. (I'd checked it out from my library in California and vividly remember reading it in the cafeteria at my then workplace during my lunch hour.) I'm glad I bought it yesterday and am feeling quite in the mood to read it again.
This one is by my favorite singer and from one of my all-time favorite songs: Delicious Surprise. To me it is all about not giving up.