Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Dear Match.com: a farewell letter

Dear Match.com,

First, congrats on successfully hooking me in for another month. I realize that forgetting to cancel my membership before my month was over is entirely my fault but I know it is all part of your master plan. So here I sit with one more month to go and I honestly don't know what to do with it because you see... I'm kind of done.

It isn't your fault. I'm a very understanding person. You created a database for single people to meet other single people. You can't control their hygeine, tight t-shirt choices, or how many photos there are of them doing shots with girls hanging all over them. Equality. I get it. You also can't control that maybe I'm just not their type. That a 200 word profile does not fully describe the depths of my personality. That they don't know what they're missing. Perhaps it is just a coincidence that I did not have a single date as a result of my past month on your website while at the same time had two as a result of other websites: one of which was more of the same and the latter a pretty good time.

It is also not your fault that I'm burnt out. I'm tired and I'm getting grumpy. This just isn't fun for me right now, as it began to dawn on me as I walked away from said perfectly good date with a perfectly good guy expecting nothing at all anymore. Expecting him to be like the others who have come before him. Expecting the worst. I very much fear becoming a jaded and cynical manhater. So I'm taking a break. I'm going to focus on a new project, my dance classes, working to save money for international travel...

Maybe I'll be back. I don't know. Perhaps if you could just tell your members that yes, I make lists of lists, am stubborn and sensitive, and often don't know where the hell I put my keys. I'm horrible at math, not much of a cook, wish I was more girly but don't have the patience for it. That I read too much and am pretty serious. That I can be a bit of a perfectionist but am very kind and count empathy as one of my best traits. For the right one I'm a catch. And if he is in currently in your ranks please send him my way.

Sincerely,

M

5 comments:

Classic Chronicles said...

funny! I never tried match, but if I did, I think my farewell letter would be almost the same. I'm afraid to admit that I went from having a toe in the pool of cynical women, now I'm neck deep and doing the backstroke. ugh. I feel your pain.

MCW said...

I am sorry you had such a bad experience! At least you tried and put yourself out there!

Meg said...

Sorry that match.com sucked. Hopefully you'll meet someone in a random way, on the subway or at dinner or wherever and you can look back and laugh at all your silly match.com dates.

Danielle said...

I am a match user however in all of the time that I've been on there...I've never had any luck...I've gotten dates from other websites...but never from match. Guys pretend for awhile that they are interested in dating...but they really aren't....

I signed up for the six months of Match and did everything I needed to do to get the additional six month guarantee. I'm now on that additional six months....and still no dates from there.

Its frustrating but there are other websites out there.

Unlucky Lucy said...

Oh, I feel you, I really do! I did the whole match.com thing for a few months and while it was fun at first, I quickly burnt out on it. If you do decide to do it again, please post that last paragraph! It's honest, adorable, and I find that most guys appreciate that quirky sarcastic honesty.