dear new york: an anniversary letter

Tomorrow marks three years of big, bad city life for this quiet California girl.

I was going to wait and do my anniversary letter then but I have a friend coming into town so we will be out and about in the (hopefully not too bad) weather.

Dear New York:

Another year for us. This was definitely the hardest one yet. We tested and
challenged each other in ways I think neither of us really expected.

I often refer to this year as my "What Color is Your Parachute?" year. You decided to spice it up a bit and, at times, make me wonder if I even had a parachute at all. But I digress with the awful metaphors. You were rough on me. We were rough on each other. I resented you and insulted you and you remained patient and steady, showing me that through each trial there was a purpose but to be honest, I still don't know what your plans are for us.

This year I really started to wonder if I am doing what I want to be doing with my career. I crossed my fingers many times only to find that the competition was stiff and I just didn't make the grade. This year I felt lost and unsure of myself more often than not. But through it all I held on to what I knew to be true: I may have moved here for the job but I stay here for you. We
aren't done yet. I am making the choice to be present in each moment, feel the losses, learn from them and grow stronger in my relationship with myself (and by extension my relationship with you.)

This year we lost a couple of friends but got closer to others, even helping one choose her wedding dress. Not bad for the girl who didn't know a soul when she picked up her little life and moved here three years ago. In a city of millions of people it is so easy to feel lonely and we absolutely felt our share of that. There was many a bad date and several relationships were
tested. Some floundered and failed and some grew stronger. I have a sneaking suspicion you've known all along that this was going to be the challenging year and that you are not done with me. But I have faith that good things will come from us. You need to make sure I can hack it, that I know that a rough year doesn't mean we weren't meant for each other, that any decisions I make for myself are made with a clear head and a calm resolve.

I know we will continue to have our moments but I only hope that the coming year is filled with happiness and luck. I hope that anything that is thrown our way will only strengthen us. I hope that one year from now I will be able to say, as I do today, I still love you New York. Thank you for three life changing years.

"It can destroy a person, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky." - E.B. White