To protect my anonymity and that of a few families, I have mostly avoided discussing a big part of my life here. That is to say, my second job and one way I spend a good number of my nights. Last night one of my favorite families told me they are moving back home to Europe. I was a bit shocked though I knew that they would go eventually. And I would go too. I can't be babysitting forever. I guess I just thought I would go first.
I've become quite attached to these families and their kids. I've read many a book, played games with them, wiped little rear ends and laughed when they said things like "I love you. You're a good girl." I've fawned and smiled when little hands have thrust painted masterpieces in my face mere nanoseconds after the front door opens. In a city full of strangers and an apartment full of passersby, these families provide for me a bit of structure, a home to step into and a simplicity that only the most innocent can capture.
I'm also bad with change. I realize that most people are but after settling into the familiar, this is another realization that my every day is going to be different. People move, friends get boyfriends, jobs change and life goes on. Perhaps this is an indication to me to move on with my life as well, though the money is definitely hard to turn down.
In other news, here's a couple of convos I've had lately with BFF that I thought would amuse you all:
BFF: I'm so bored at work.
Me: Well, we can talk about why you ended our awesome 12 year friendship in my dream last night.
BFF: Haha. I'm sorry!
Me: You should be. I was very hurt. I cried. You were really mean to me!
I constantly dream that she is mean to me. One time she left for San Francisco without me. I also tend to dream that my jaw is broken (probably similar in meaning to teeth falling out) and that I am driving a speeding car and either don't want to stop or can't.
I also consider myself to be a dream psychic. A few years ago I had a dream that I was walking around a mall with my then-boss who was then childless. We were in the company of her two blonde daughters and we were looking for Hannah Montana shoes. The next day I told her and she announced that she'd just found out yesterday at the doctor that she was pregnant. She ended up having a girl. I know that last part is 50/50 but if she has another one, I just might go into business.
I have had a few dream babies myself: several girls and most recently a boy with two heads. Hmph, I wonder what that means. They say that dreaming you are pregnant means the birth of a new idea. Wonder what is in store for me...
What do you guys dream?
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