screenplays, furniture and Catholics who eat burgers on Fridays - some of my best dating stories

This post from a fellow single twenty-something blogger living in a city setting (Chicago) got me thinking about my dating stories tonight. As I sit here alone (because I turned down a pretty persistent Italian who was hitting on me at the trade show I am currently attending. Flustered, thrown off, distracted and seriously wondering what the point was I declined.) eating expensive "San Francisco" style carmel corn I bought in the gift shop and prepare to get into my jammies and start this book, I'm going over the funny, weird, amazing, and boring in my head and a few gems come to mind.

1) I already blogged about Screenplay Guy. Read the post here.

2) French Renaissance Furniture Guy

This was an online match (hey, I'm not too proud, I'll admit I've dabbled in online dating. It is a rough sea and sometimes a busy fish has to go cyber). He had a dog. He sent me pictures of his dog. He was cute and he was a lawyer. I was sold. We had a really good repore, things in common, but, as I came to find out, completely different tastes in insignificant things like drapery and couches. When I went back to his apartment to meet his dog (minds out of the gutter, people, nothing even PG rated happened) I walked into French Renaissance heaven that Marie Antoinette would have died for. Flowers everywhere. Girly tzotchkes (I had to Google that to learn how to spell it!) everywhere. Monogrammed towels on a platter with soaps and such in the bathroom. Nary a female in sight. This esquire lives alone in a fan-freakin-tastic apartment. Holy shocker Batman, I was speechless. I had previously picked up on a few teensy feminine mannerisms but brushed them off. This was a smack in the face. I was kind and sat on the couch watching NatGeo and then excused myself to the comforts of a cab ride knowing I'd go out with him again. You know it isn't a good thing when the guy you're on a date with proves to be more of a girl in the decorating department than you are.

3) "Oh, so you're not Catholic" guy

I can't remember if I blogged about this one but I doubt it. I met this one for drinks that turned into dinner (much to my chagrin) and within the first 15 mins he had already commented on my clothes, my food choices, and my religion - or lack thereof. It was late Feb/early March so I was wearing a coat. It was a Friday so I was wearing a black sweater and jeans. My office is fairly relaxed dress code wise anyway. So as I took my coat off to sit down, he remarked "Your office must not have a strict dress code." I replied that it did not quickly doing a mental inventory of what I was wearing without looking down. Never have a I had a guy comment on my clothing other than to say "You look nice."

We opened our menus and he politely asked what looked good to me. I remarked that I had had a big lunch. (I'd gone to a cafe with a good friend earlier that day and chowed down on a burger and fries.) When I told him about the burger (sans chowing down comment, of course) he bluntly said, "Oh, so I guess you're not Catholic." My mind was doing multiple things at once... first trying to wrap itself around the fact that he had, in fact, just said that and second that I now had to make some sort of responsory comment on my religious beliefs. Those beliefs are far too complicated and my religious upbringing and current religious status is too much for 15 mins into a first date. Turns out he wants a girl who doesn't eat meat on Fridays. I never heard from him again.

My co-worker says I should write a book. I'm beginning to agree...