forgive the nerdiness. i know not what i do.

I feel like all I do here these days is complain. Was getting ready to write a long post about how irked I am at a co-worker who messed up in a way that might mean I get blamed and might make my work look sloppy, however, I then remembered I am on vacation. I am in sunny California. And I have had enough of the bitching and moaning, the trials and tribulations.

So I come to you with hat in hand and a confession:

I... have a problem. I, M aka flipflopsonlex, have a serious shopping problem.

Allow me to rewind a bit. One thing about being in suburban California is that unless someone lends me their car for the day, I am generally housebound. Today, around lunchtime, I was seriously craving a Coke Zero and hungry too, so I decided to hoof it to the Panera Bread in the shopping center closest to the 'rents house. I love Panera and never get to eat it. Two birds. One stone. I'm going to skip over how ridiculous I felt walking down the busy street to get there as NO ONE walks anywhere here and the yummy turkey on country bread, apple and coveted Coke I had for lunch while people watching all the fresh-from-the-beach families clad in their typical So Cal summer garb.

I'm going to skip to my trip to Borders.

I love bookstores. Even the chains. I often go there after work to relax, browse, make lists, and be around people without the hassle of the hustle on the streets. The other day I was fingering a couple of paperbacks in an NYC B&N but refrained. I'm in the middle of The Girl Who Played With Fire and brought two other books with me for this trip because I couldn't decide what to read next. Figured I have to get through two six-hour flights somehow.

So why on earth would I walk out of the bookstore 45 mins later with two new paperbacks in tow? WHY would I purchase books when I have shelves of unread ones both in my apartment and in my cubicle at work. WHY would I purchase books at all when I work in publishing, know people in publishing and can pretty much finagle a way to get most anything for free. (Shhh! I don't like to abuse these powers. I only use them for good, I promise!)

The answer is: because I can't help myself. Because I got it in my head the other day that one of the aforementioned books that I read in 9th grade English and remembered liking HAD to be my next read. Because I'm currently obsessed with mass markets (in layman's terms those are the chubby squat editions that are most commonly romances and thrillers - but sometimes companies produce them for great literature too! - and retail for about $7 or $8 a pop) as they are just so handy! Because once I located said edition (Barbara Kingsolver's The Bean Trees) I remembered how much I've been wanting to read The Poisonwood Bible and how long that has been on my list. So I bought both of them. Because to me, buying books is the equivalent of what some women feel when they go shopping for clothes or shoes. Things get cloudy. Greed kicks in. I start envisioning a gorgeous home with a little library filled to the brim....

Sorry, I blacked out there for a moment.

At least I didn't go to Target. Then I would have been in serious trouble. I may love books but I love me some Target and I miss not being able to go nearly daily and get my fill of consumerist gluttony in every shape and form. Plus it is coming on Fall and I need new clothes and shoes. Sigh.